funky ass stupidity

Seriously I wanna be able to walk about in a big adult sized onesy (like they have for babies) and poop wherever I like. Other than that I want to be able to pay off everything I own but that is less likely to happen than the other. So I make my way through the days with a dance and a song trying not to turn into a modern day vaudevillian a joke of a joke of myself. If I could get paid to do that though, I'd put on the tap shoes without a moments hesitation. I want to be one of those ladies who gets paid to bitch and gossip on the television but, I want to make up horrendous things about people who don't really exist of if they do are far to young to sue me. I'm talking like inventing horrid scandals about toddlers and what goes on in the sandbox. Can't be any worse than the news. I want to be in politics and make all those suggestions for things that will never ever happen, like actual equality or legalizing prostitution among other things. I wanna be on the Jack Benny show, so someone make me that time travel suit that travels on the string theory to Jack Benny. Short of these things I'll take a coke with some ice and a nice evening without any jackals attacking my house.