urrggghhhh

It's one of those constants in life, are you going to try? You going to give in? Going to give up? At times it's hard not to just daydream about all the trials being over, no more bills, jobs, living. That is a bit vague I know but I'm trying not to be too cynical. I have the moments of pure inspiration followed by the days of depression at the thought of trying...and failing. Who knows what person out there has that inspiration that makes an artist, writer, actor any of the arts based "jobs". Who knows which skeleton lays in the ground that should have been the 20th century Homer? I think about it and there are probably millions. Just the stress of living from day to day is becoming a more widespread disease, taking people out one by one. I don't pity myself, I pity the millions of people who feel like they are here with no real purpose. Maybe I am being to grandiose on the subject but it's what scares me the most in life, no function, no reality and no life. In order to have a life one must first live, it's becoming harder by the second to do so in any sort of fashion outside the put off one debt to pay another. It hurts the inner self or what you may refer to as a soul, or maybe just the brain. I don't know, I'm trying hard to make myself live. I don't want to be a quitter.